The Fun Bet
by redcharcoal
Summary: Some pre curse, pre-SQ fluff and nonsense about Emma and Regina at a carnival - and a lil bet about whether Emma can show Regina a fun time.
1. Chapter 1

**THE FUN BET**

**By Red Charcoal**

**Just some pre-curse pre-SQ fluff and nonsense. Prompt from Smiley12345 who wrote the 1000th review for The Staircase: Could you maybe write something about swan queen going to an amusement park with Henry and his friends and when the kids go off alone on rides there is lots of Swan Queen goodness.**

* * *

"So this is new," Emma said, leaning against a carnival stall, clutching what could only be described as hideous pink swirl of sugar on a stick. Regina almost recoiled at the sight of it. Well that and the sudden appearance of her occasional nemesis/snark rival at the town's annual family carnival day.

"Hardly new, Miss Swan. You regularly abuse your body with diabolical food choices. Why should this be any different?"

Emma gave a low chuckle. "You sound positively jealous of my fairy floss, Madame Mayor." She waggled it in front of the mayor's nose and watched horror cross her features. "Want some?"

Regina's nostrils flared. "That depends. Is it made from _real_ fairies?"

"Ooh, an actual attempt at humor, I am impressed." Emma snorted and took a luxurious lick of the pink fluff, amused to see Regina follow her tongue with burning brown eyes. "Someone got up on the right side of bed today."

Regina glared at the obscene display and looked away. Her eyes unerringly darted across the grassy paths scribbling past the stalls and rides that made up Storybrooke's Fair. "So what IS new Miss Swan, because we have established it is certainly not your revolting dietary habits?"

She dropped one hand to her hip, thrumming her fingers and flicked a withering glance back to the blonde, eyeing her swipes of the sugary treat which were punctuated by enthusiastic groans. _Groans that could sound like something else._

"Shit this is great. Corn dogs next I think."

Regina looked physically ill and not entirely sure whether she was joking.

"OK," Emma said, biting back a laugh. _Honestly it was too easy to bait the mayor at times._ "What is new is Henry. It's good to see he has some friends his own age for once. I don't think his teacher or birth mother should count."

As she spoke both women's eyes were drawn to three small boys lining up and taking turns trying to hurl balls at a triangle of bottles, howling with laughter at their failed attempts. Emma only vaguely knew them as Nick and Thomas. Or was it Tommy? The kid was older than the other two and had a good head on his shoulders.

"My son's friendships are not your concern, Miss Swan. In fact come to think of it, why are YOU here? Shouldn't you be standing over the carnival employees attempting to force them to run an honest game or something?"

Emma laughed. "No one in history has ever succeeded at _that_. Well, if you really want to know, I got invited to keep you entertained in case you got a sudden urge to do some stalking."

"What?!'' Regina looked thoroughly aghast. She opened and shut her mouth as though unsure which outrage to address first. Emma found herself thoroughly entertained by the smear of crimson lipstick contorting into various shapes as her lips moved.

Emma focused and gave a shrug.

"Henry was worried you'd be trailing behind him and his new friends all day and scare them off. So I am here to distract you - just in case."

She offered her best shit-eating grin, somewhat impressed at the cavalcade of emotions now galloping across the mayor's face. The brunette's outrage was back, coupled with a hint of hurt and dismay.

Emma dropped the stick from the candy floss into a nearby steel trash drum and grinned. "Oh come on, Regina, he's almost a teenager. You know - at that age where all parents are 'totally embarrassing'. And you are the scary mayor on top of that. Besides it's not like he thinks you are _definitely_ going to humiliate him, it's just _in case_ you get carried away and can't resist spying on them all from two feet away. And I actually think you've been holding back rather well so far."

"Just how long have you been following me for?" Regina's eyebrows shot upwards, her voice threatening.

"Long enough to work my way through a box of fries and one of those donut stick things. Oh and the fairy floss of course."

"I don't know how your stomach copes," Regina snapped, clearly still hurt about her son's tactics.

"It's a special occasion, Regina. Gotta live a little. You've really got to tap into your inner child once in awhile, right? Though I am really starting to think you don't even remember what it was like to be a girl and just have fun for the sake of it."

Regina scowled and crossed her arms, glaring furiously. For a moment all they could hear was the tinny pounding of fairground music. "And you, of course, know so much about happy, happy childhoods."

The silence that fell between them was punctuated by a delighted shriek from a nearby gravity-defying ride and the laughter from the trio of boys who were now trying to use a mallet to ring a bell. They weren't even close.

"Well that was nasty," Emma said flatly and frowned. "I mean hell. _Really_? Has it occurred to you that the reason I love a carnival so much is I never got to go to one as a kid? And if I have to be here anyway to help out our kid, the least I can do is enjoy myself. A motto you might try follwing once in a while. Seriously, you are the most uptight person I have ever met."

Her eyes flicked over the mayor's navy outfit - a suit of pants, cream shirt and blazer and flat dress shoes - and stared back at her pointedly. "I am only surprised you left the Jimmy Choos at home."

"Says the most uncouth person I have ever met. You think I don't know how to have fun?" Regina queried with a slight lip curl. "This from the enlightened woman who thinks pink is a food group and that sound mothering involves _preventing_ my son from being closely monitored by his parent?"

"Essentially yes, to all of the above." Emma grinned unrepentantly.

Regina cocked her head. "I suspect, dear, that _your_ juvenile idea of 'fun' involves mass alcohol consumption and a lot of silly frat-boy-like behaviour."

"Actually no," Emma said, watching as the boys raced for the queue for a ferris wheel. "Although there is much to recommend involving alcohol consumption. I'll tell you what: Give me an hour right now and if I can't show you a time that you consider actually fun, without any booze or frat-boy antics, I will do a week's menial tasks of your choosing. Tasks that you will no doubt get to mock me over for several months."

Regina's eyes lit up at several possibilities. "And if you win, and I deem this exercise in futility _is_ actually 'fun'?"

"I will tell you if and when that happens. Don't worry, what I have in mind will be fairly painless. Absolutely no humiliation involved. All I ask right now is you keep an open mind, follow my instructions and go with the flow."

"What about Henry?"

"I have his friend Thomas's iPhone tracked." She held up her own phone, tapped a few buttons and zoomed in on the spot on the map they were all standing. "See? They'll be fine. And they promised me they'd stick together. We can check in on them every quarter of an hour between, um, fun events."

Regina looked doubtful. Emma smirked.

"It's just an hour. Live a little?"

The mayor humphed. "Fine. I must be crazy to agree to this. And note that I will have some fairly dire tasks lined up for you when you fail."

Emma snickered. "I would be shocked if you didn't. Just keep an open mind. And you can't lie if you're having fun."

"All right," the mayor agreed, unable to resist rolling her eyes. "Let me just speak to Henry."

"We won't be too far from him. Trust me. I know what I am doing."

"That, my dear, is what I am afraid of."


	2. Chapter 2

**THE FUN BET**

**By Red Charcoal**

**CHAPTER TWO**

"A haunted house? You must be joking, Miss Swan. How positively pedestrian."

"Lighten up Regina. Come on, it'll be fun." She gave the older woman's elbow a nudge.

"Clearly you have vastly overestimated what I consider to be fun." Regina's entire posture screamed reluctance as Emma led the mayor to the deliberately crooked building's door.

The brunette gave the lopsided architecture a stern look and frowned: "Is this even built to code?"

Emma laughed aloud at that. "Shit Regina, take off the mayor's robes for once."

She paused awkwardly as she realised how that sounded.

"Miss Swan?" Regina shot her a glance, eyebrow tilting.

"Um ... figuratively speaking," Emma mumbled, flushing faintly.

Regina's lips twitched and she wordlessly followed her up the building's steps.

A 'ghoul' in diabolically bad make-up collecting the tickets quailed upon identifying his illustrious visitors.

"Uh go right inside ma'ams. Prepare to be f-frightened. Bwahaha." He attempted a villainous cackle which was only made funnier by the fact he appeared more intimidated by his customers.

They stepped inside, Emma parting the web of fake cobwebs laced with cheap plastic spiders and looking around.

It was dark and stifling.

"Really," Regina sighed, from close behind her. "This place smells revolting. Have they even had a good clean in, what, six months?"

"It's supposed to be dirty and smelly. It adds to the atmosphere." Emma grinned into the blackness. "Can't really have a haunted house primped and cleaned to your mansion's pristine standards."

Regina ignored the jibe.

They rounded a corner of the dank passageway and creepy music began to fill the air. Distant moans and rattling chains began to sound and even Emma, who loved to be scared, found it suitably eerie, if a little obvious. She slid a glance to the woman now stalking the corridor impatiently beside her and, in the near darkness, could just make out her familiar profile etched in displeasure.

"After you, dear," Regina said with a drawl as the passageway ahead narrowed to one-person wide. The blonde stepped confidently forward.

"GAHH!" Emma shouted as a plastic skeleton flew at her face. She leapt back and landed heavily on Regina's foot behind her, its owner immediately howling in outrage.

"MISS SWAN! THAT IS MY FOOT YOU'RE STOMPING ALL OVER."

"Shit! Sorry," Emma swiftly lifted her boot and could faintly see Regina's mouth pursed in pain. If it had been Emma, she would have been cursing up a storm. She was rather impressed with the mayor's restraint.

"Want me to rub it better?" she suggested with a half grin.

"That will not be necessary," the mayor ground out. "Let's get moving. The sooner we do, the sooner we get out of this ridiculous building and you will be able to see where to put your clumsy feet."

Bats were next. Rubbery little puppet things were suddenly launching at them overhead from every angle. Emma yanked up her jacket collar and bent forward to stop them hitting her face. Regina merely batted them away with supreme irritation, eyes flashing. One that didn't get out of her way fast enough, she grabbed, yanked hard until a fishing wire broke and then tossed it to the floor. They heard a muffled male's curse in the rafters above them.

Regina snorted derisively, then kicked it to one side. "_This_ is supposed to be scary, Miss Swan?" she asked incredulously.

"Well yeah – it's supposed to be you know, cheesy scary. Where you leap into your friends' arms, shrieking and swearing and scare yourself silly."

"Is that why we're here? So I will leap into your arms, Miss Swan? Because I could save you the effort right now by saying you are wasting your time."

"Geez, Regina, don't flatter yourself," Emma bit back, offended, and shoved her fists in her jacket. "I just figured you were due to let your hair down a bit and, I dunno, calm your tits."

There was silence and Emma realised she may have gone a little too far with her colourful metaphors.

"I assure you, Miss Swan," came the brittle reply, "My 'tits' are sufficiently calm. Now shall we get out of this absurd house sometime before Henry hits high-school age?"

Zombies lurched suddenly at them, growling enthusiastically and Emma, who was closest and badly distracted after hearing Regina say the word 'tits", started in fright. She bounded away a few feet, laughing at herself. She then doubled over helplessly when she caught the expression of haughty disdain welded onto the mayor's face as the brunette strode up nose to nose with one of the lurching zombies, her hands on her hips.

She was the very vision of imperiousness.

"Really, Mr Sayer? _This_ is how you spend your time when not packing boxes at the supermarket?"

One of the pimply-faced zombies froze. "Graaah?"

"Oh don't think I don't recognise you. How many times have you put my cold cuts in with the dishwashing liquid despite me asking you repeatedly not to? Does Mr Grisham know you moonlight as the undead?"

"M-Miss Mills," the zombie stuttered, "N-no, ma'am."

The other zombie nudged the frightened teen, and hissed too loudly: "Josh, dude, stay in character."

"Just what I thought, Mr Sayer. I will be letting your employer know you have been terrifying unsuspecting Storybrooke residents when you were supposed to be at his store."

"P-please don't, M-Miss Mills. I really need that job."

"Josh! Shuddup, dude! _In. Character._"

"And _you_!" Regina turned on the zombie's accomplice. He took a startled step backwards. It was more a shuffle thanks to oversized ragged costumed feet. "Don't you work in _my_ office?"

Silence. A harsh breath was sucked in. All eyes pinned on the now increasingly whiter painted face with black-ringed eyes.

"Gah?"

"Accounts Payable? Simon Hastings isn't it? Did I even give you time off to cavort in this absurd entertainment facility?"

"Eep."

"Regina, come on, _you're_ not supposed to be scaring the zombies," Emma interjected as both ghouls began to slide petrified looks at each other. She tapped the mayor on the arm and whispered: "They're only young. Come on."

Regina sniffed at the cowering men. "I suppose you're right, Miss Swan." She gave them a glare for good measure. "You two can count yourself very lucky the sheriff is such a soft touch."

Emma snapped her head up. "Hey!"

Regina smiled at her, eyes glittering dangerously. The zombies took the distraction as an opportunity to fade back into the scenery.

"Problem, Miss Swan?"

"Just surprised you think of how soft I am to touch, Regina," Emma finally proclaimed, deciding the best defence was an offense. "Who knew?"

"It's a _saying_, Miss Swan," the mayor muttered, and although the blonde couldn't see her in the darkness, she knew she would be rolling her eyes. "As you well know."

The next corner yielded a creeping witch who swooped down from above on a swing and then leapt off to strike a pose before them, producing a half-hearted cackle and a scraggly broomstick. Her costume contained every witch stereotype imaginable and Regina's eyes narrowed when she saw a large fake wart perched on her faker nose.

"That is deplorable," she scolded the witch who was now attempting to intimidate the women by waggling the broom bristles defiantly at them. Regina gave her an irritated sigh.

"This woman couldn't scare the skin off a rice pudding," she complained. "And how culturally insensitive is her costume?" She frowned and flicked the wart off the nose and then leaned further forward until she was well inside the startled witch's personal space.

"Culturally insensitive to whom?" Emma sputtered. "_Real_ witches?" She laughed at her own joke.

Regina suddenly bared her teeth at the young witch and let loose a menacing, guttural shriek that reverberated up and down the corridor and shook the flimsy walls. Then came a threat so venomous it was as if it had been dredged up straight from the bowels of Hell: "I will _destroy _your happiness, if it's the last thing I do!"

The witch and the blonde froze instantly. The bile and charisma dripping off Regina was so powerful, so palpable that Emma was no longer entirely confident in her bladder control. Her jaw dropped open.

"See? That's how it's done," Regina offered pleasantly into the silence, now punctuated only by ragged breathing in stereo. She straightened up and smiled casually.

"Mercy," came a tiny croaked voice from the creature of the night now trembling before her. The woman suddenly regained her wits, screamed and ran back behind a screen, which shook as she whipped past it at Olympics-qualifying speed.

Regina tossed her head disdainfully. "The quality control in this establishment beggars belief," she sniffed and continued on. After a moment she seemed to realise she was alone and turned back.

Emma was still rooted to the spot. Staring at her. Agog.

"H-how the hell did you do that? Where did it _come_ from? That voice… _Shit_!"

Emma's mouth remained hanging open, and she realised she was still waiting for her frozen legs to move.

"Two years of amateur theatre in my youth, dear," Regina suggested with a smirk. "A stint as Lady Macbeth in our first season. One learns to _project_." She said the last word with a theatrical trill and gave her fingers an arty waggle then laughed at the blonde's disbelieving expression.

Regina strutted back to her, swaying her hips cockily, then stepped up close. Very close. Emma swallowed anxiously. Regina slipped her finger under Emma's chin and closed her mouth with a clack.

"Come, dear, I do want to get out of this place now. It is losing what little charm it had."

Emma shook herself and scampered after her, her heart thundering in her ears. She had never been more chilled in her life by such a phenomenal transformation. _Hell! Mayor Mills could win Oscars for that shit._

Suddenly Regina stopped cold and Emma, predictably, ran into her back with a startled OOMPH. Regina grunted but made no effort to dislodge her. She help up a hand to stop Emma's inevitable apology and then whispered: "I swear they are not even making this difficult anymore."

She sounded supremely pleased with herself.

"What do you mean?" Emma hissed back, all too aware of the warmth emanating from the woman she was leaning against.

"You can't hear that?"

Emma shook her head in confusion.

Regina gave a wicked smile, lifted her arm and then shot it around the corner grabbing a fistful of costume and dragging a shocked 'vampire' into the space before them. She leaned forward and hissed at him, her eyes narrowed and threatening, and gave him a tiny shake.

His pointy teeth fell out and he squealed and fled without offering so much as an evil cackle, his cheap plastic cape squeaking as he ran.

"How the hell did you know he was there?" Emma asked in astonishment. _Really was there no end to this woman's hidden skills?_

"His heartbeat. He was so scared from all that silly screaming back there, his heart was _pounding_."

Emma shook her head. "You have amazing hearing."

Before the mayor could reply an enormous figure stepped before them. "Ma'ams?" the voice rumbled, low.

Regina and Emma stared up at a burly man. Then up, and up. He was dressed in a black turtleneck and dark pants and heavy combat boots. _Well. This character actually was faintly alarming._ Emma gaped. _Either he was playing a very modern ogre or ..._ _Ah_. He had a wire in his ear. Emma winced in sudden understanding.

"Carnival security," he stated. "I have received a complaint from Miss Fright Spark and several other personages in the employ of this establishment that two patrons matching your descriptions have been systematically threatening and/or harassing them. This amusement facility has a zero-tolerance policy on health and safety issues and we request you now exit to minimise any further … _unfortunate_ misunderstandings with the staff. I am here to escort you out ASAP."

"Now hold on," Regina said stepping closer to the giant and arcing her head up to glare at him. The mismatch was ridiculous but did not seem to daunt her in the least. "As the mayor of Storybrooke you have no right…"

"That was not a request," he replied, unmoved, face stony. "Ma'am. This way. _Now_." Large masculine hands stretched out. He locked eyes with her and added: "Easy way or hard way." He smiled at her challengingly.

It was not a pretty sight.

Regina ground her molars for a moment, her nostrils flaring. "Fine," she eventually scowled. "And for the record this so-called 'haunted house' was a risible example of false advertising and unfrightening theatrics. It would be a _delight_ to leave now."

The man ignored her and pointed out a route direction, and a hidden passage. Within moments Regina and Emma found themselves unceremoniously thrust, blinking, out into the sunshine and a side door slammed shut. "Have a good day," the voice rumbled behind them sarcastically.

A silence descended. In the background they could hear the fairground sounds of music and excited laughs and screams from the rides. Emma scuffed her boot on the dusty pathway and looked around. Unwilling to make eye contact.

"Well that was diverting, Miss Swan," Regina growled and folded her arms. "And humiliating, I must say. _So much_ _fun_."

"Erm, certainly different," Emma replied, scrunching her nose. "Not how I remember haunted houses. I mean, shit, usually _they_ do the scaring. And did you have to frighten the pants off Miss Fright-ass and threaten her eternal happiness and all that? I think even I lost a year off my life – and, hell, I am actually _used_ to your crap."

"She needs to take a teaspoon of cement and harden up, Miss Swan," Regina retorted, unmoved. "She is ill-suited to her chosen career if she can't take a little constructive criticism on her character."

"I had no idea you were such a freaking thespian."

"What did you say?" Regina asked and gave the blonde a hard stare.

Emma chuckled.

Regina sighed. "Forget it. Hand me your phone." She thrust out a hand, brooking no debate.

"What? Why?" Emma asked as she dug her hand into her jeans pocket, wriggling it around.

"I wish to see where Henry is. And so far your promised 'fun times' are far from materialising."

"The hour is young," Emma said with a small shrug. She finally located her cell and pulled it out, tapping on the Find My iPhone icon. She held it up to demonstrate. "You just click here and tap there and…"

Regina snatched it from her. "I am sure I can work it out." She peered at the screen and then tapped it significantly after a moment. "They're over there."

"Great for them," Emma grinned. "But we're going _this_ way."

Regina frowned, clearly torn between where Emma was pointing and checking in on her son. She glanced towards the three boys and could see them in the distance queuing for another ride.

"What do you have in mind _now_?"

"You'll see," Emma said with an easy grin. "And this time all that pent-up aggression of yours will pay off."

Regina rolled her eyes. "That was hardly aggression, Miss Swan. Pent-up or otherwise. I cannot be held responsible for the entirely too easily traumatised staff at a haunted house."

"Just keep telling yourself that. But I think your tits were definitely uncalm at one point. OK Regina, it's this way."

"Will you stop mentioning my breasts? They are _off limits_. Now where is this ridiculous next activity? I await with bated breath."

"Excellent."

"That was sarcasm, dear."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Must you always swear?"

"Must you always be so vanilla?"

"Miss Swan! For God's sake. Are we here yet?"

"You sound like a five-year-old on a boring road trip."

"What would you know of such things?"

"Really? Playing the mock-the-sheriff's-shitty-childhood card again? I have half a mind to ditch you right now, and you'll always be wondering about the rest of the fun stuff that I was going to show you."

"I hardly think I would care if…"

"We're here."

"Miss Swan!" A shocked gasp. "Absolutely not! I have my image to maintain. There is NO way."

"You _promised_."

A hissed word followed from the outraged brunette that was barely audible. Emma however heard it and smirked broadly.

"Ahhh, that's better, Madame Mayor. Knew you had a good curse in you. Now come on, let's get in line."

"You will pay for this later, Miss Swan."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Now remember, we're here to have fun."


	3. Chapter 3

**THE FUN BET **

**By Red Charcoal**

**CHAPTER 3**

Emma smirked as she watched the Mayor of Storybrooke adjust her seatbelt primly in the dodgem car. A look of distaste appeared permanently etched on her face. The only thing funnier to the blonde had been a moment before when Regina pulled out a delicate handkerchief and ran it over the cheap car seat, staring at the grime it gathered with dismay and disbelief.

Her attempt to start a fight with the cars' attendant about his "substandard views on cleanliness" was shortlived when Emma had abruptly grabbed her by an elbow and lead her to a car, throwing an apologetic glance over her shoulder at the startled man.

"Save your vitriol for the cars, Regina," she had whispered with a small grin.

"Oh don't worry, dear, I am saving up many things for this moment," she promised with a dangerous glint. "You might say I have formulated a masterful plan to defeat you."

Emma's eyebrows rose at the challenge and gave a smirk. "I am the boss of the car chase," she pronounced, sliding her hands to her hips. "It came with my job once, remember? What do _you_ do? Sit behind a mayoral desk all day? There is nothing you could possibly throw at me that I can't beat. Prepare to have the floor wiped with your sedentary little ass. Game. On."

She offered her cockiest grin.

A confident and cool laugh filled the air as Regina raked her eyes derisively over the blonde in her power pose. For the first time the sheriff felt her certainty waver and she dropped her hands down to her sides, feeling a little foolish. She glanced around the area. It was a large oval floor of polished cement, with a small island of tyres in the very middle - giving the course the appearance of a giant donut.

Regina interrupted her musings with a low drawl: "We shall see."

And now here the mayor sat, face grim, boring holes into the back of Emma's head from the car three behind the blonde, waiting for all the drivers - most barely old enough to see over the wheel - to settle into their seats.

The mayor's fingers drummed against the steering wheel, which only added to the thoroughly ridiculous sight given her knees in the tiny vehicle were almost up under her chin. She essentially looked as regal as was humanly possible in a clown car. Emma bit back a laugh and turned away to watch as the final child was strapped into his car.

The lights went green and suddenly they were off.

There was always one. One pugnacious child leaned too hard on the steering wheel in his excitement and went instantly into the side of the ring. He began to wail when his car promptly stalled and the attendant had to run over from outside to assist. Four other bumper cars banked back behind him, their momentum eventually thudding one after the other into his rear bumper, leading to his indignant shouts to grow louder.

Emma, though, savvy to the mystical arts of dodgem cars, expertly swerved around them all and then began joyfully ramming any fellow motorists attempting to overtake. She was grinning from ear to ear. She looked about to try and find the mayor but her attention kept getting pulled back by her rev-headed juvenile rivals, two of whom had unerring accuracy and were gunning for her.

It didn't take long before she became the primary target for everyone, as the children of Storybrooke discovered this was their best chance ever to pile-drive with impugnity into the town's only cop. In the blink of an eye they swarmed.

Within two laps, and much good-natured shouting, there was a 14-car grid lock and Emma was completely hemmed in, unable to move an inch. She gave a disappointed growl then glanced about to see where, in the mass of bumpers and hoots of laughter Regina had been pinned. She had little doubt the mayor would be unable to resist the urge to add some aggressive vengeance to the pile-up. Aggression was her middle name afterall.

A car whizzed merrily by them all with a flash of brown. Regina, it seemed, had ignored all other cars from the moment driving had started and was simply cruising around and around in a small circle in the dead centre of the course, tightly circumnavigating the "donut hole". Her chin was up, expression serene and she looked for all the world like she was out for a sedate Sunday drive.

And, as a result of her chosen course, she was completely unhampered, unmolested and supremely indifferent to the carnage she kept sweeping past.

Emma craned her neck behind her and then to each side and finally realised, her heart sinking, that Regina Mills was in fact the only one still moving at all.

Their eyes met briefly and the sheriff scowled at the triumphant expression lasering her from mocking brown eyes.

Suddenly the exterior lights turned red in the arena and the cars' engines all automatically stopped. All that could be heard was children's shouts of "No fair!'', "We barely did anything!'' and "I want to go again''. By this time Regina had carefully parked her vehicle, stepped gracefully out, patted down her outfit for dust and stood by the side of the ring with a supremely smug look.

She waited patiently while the attendant waded in and tried to separate all the dead dodgem cars from each other and return them - and their small drivers (plus one adult) - to their starting positions.

Emma, being in the exact eye of the dead-car storm, was the last to leave and did so with great reluctance knowing she would never hear the end of this.

She shuffled over to Regina, trying not to look as sheepish as she felt.

"So that was your game plan all along? Do nothing? Hit nothing?"

"My game plan, dear, was to rise above the fray and not be caught up in petty vehicular politics. Despite your slander to the contrary, it turns out being behind a desk all day at City Hall does teach me certain skills."

Emma's eyes narrowed, but she couldn't fault her logic. "Yeah, whatever. Main thing is - did you have fun?"

Regina tilted her head back and thought about it. She appeared to be weighing the question seriously.

"While it was mildly diverting watching you be hemmed in by Storybrooke's blood-lusting potential future juvenile delinquents, I would have to say no. It was unpleasant to be placed in a position that was so undignified in front of my constituents." She tilted her head to the crowd.

Emma followed her gaze and realised a large group of parents who had gathered to watch their children in the cars were staring in the mayor's direction, as if unwilling to believe what their eyes had just witnessed: Mayor Mills in a bumper car.

The blonde's jaw worked for a moment. "I see," she said neutrally feeling a prick of guilt. "You don't like being on display? OK I get that. Our next stop will make sure that does not happen."

She gave a quick reassuring grin.

"Aren't you going to admit it first?"

"Admit what?"

"That I beat you at bumper cars."

Emma snorted. "Only by disengaging from the game!"

"Nonsense! I out-thought you. You fell for the oldest trick in the book - the ambush. You were easily outflanked and had no exit strategy. At least the children had the excuse of only being 12."

The blonde scowled but it had no power behind it. She humphed after a moment.

"Why the hell didn't those kids gun for you, anyway? Surely a mayor is a much more tempting target than a sheriff? I don't get it. You probably didn't even get hit once."

Regina laughed aloud at that. Heads snapped in their direction and baffled looks crossed parents' faces. "Didn't you know, dear?" Regina asked, her voice dropping to a husky low. "I am far more intimidating than a mere sheriff. Parents probably warned their offspring not to go near me before they even got in their cars. So really, I beat you before I even sat down, dear."

Emma's mouth formed a perfect O. _Shit. She actually had seen a few parents whispering in young ears and pointing discreetly at Regina before the ride began._

"Face it, dear, you were crushed by someone who knows this town and its easily cowed populace a far sight better than you." She gave a smug grin and watched Emma closely for her reaction.

She seemed to be enjoying winning a little too much and it was annoying. The blonde rammed her hands in her jeans pockets and tried to think up a smart comeback. "Do you really think winning through _fear_ is a real victory?" she finally asked with a shit-eating grin.

Regina's entire face changed and a decided chill hit the air.

"It was through clever, well thought-out tactics, Miss Swan!'' Regina snapped and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Uh huh," Emma said in an infuriating tone and the mayor shot her a dark look.

"You are a sore loser, Miss Swan," Regina bit out her words.

"And you are a sore winner. But come on, we'd better get you to the next ride before all your self-righteous indignation causes you to immolate in front of all your gawping constituents."

"So many big words, today, Miss Swan, I must say, I am impressed."

"STILL a sore winner. Try not to get too petty now, Madame Mayor. It's beneath you."

Regina glared. "I have no idea why I tolerate you."

Emma laughed as she virtually heard Regina grinding her teeth.

"Well try not to sprain anything figuring it out," the blonde chuckled. "And 'sides I still like you. Your biting tongue is just part of your many charms."

And then she froze. They both did. Emma's eyes flicked worriedly up to the brunette's - a little astonished she had said that out loud.

"I... uh..." She completely lost her mental footing. And her high ground.

"You _like_ me Miss Swan? You feel I have 'many charms'? My, how revealing, dear."

"I. Uh."

"You already covered that."

"I know!" Emma squeaked, feeling nothing but horror. Her discomfort was now glaringly obvious and the sheriff blushed hot pink. Her hands flew to her face as if she could rub it away.

Regina observed her in silence for a long, excruciating, and very deliberate, minute.

"You know, my dear," Regina purred, "I might just be starting to have fun afterall. Who would have thought?"

"Next ride's this way," Emma mumbled and turned to point, relieved not to have to face her for a second longer.

"Indeed," the mayor teased, her voice thoroughly amused now and not even bothering to look where Emma was indicating. Her smile grew even wider.

"Don't let it go to your head or anything." Emma's voice was small. She turned on her heel and strode towards the next ride, fully expecting Regina to tag along - if only to humiliate her some more.

Regina's throaty laugh filled the air as she followed. _Naturally_.


	4. Chapter 4

**THE FUN BEST**

**By Red Charcoal**

**CHAPTER 4**

"This is payback, isn't it?" Regina asked Emma with a glare as they shuffled forward in the ride queue.

"You _would_ think that, wouldn't you," Emma retorted. "Actually so far everything else has been so tame and all you have done is complain about how unimpressive it all is, so it's time we stepped things up a notch."

She shot the mayor a half grin, but it lacked the warmth of earlier. To be honest she was still smarting at Regina's humiliating jibes the whole walk over. The mayor certainly never let an opportunity slip by to rub someone's nose in a mistake.

They both gazed up at the gaudily painted, absurdly named Wheel of Terror. Individual capsuals (each seating two) were connected to the end of dozens of giant spokes. The wheel spun vertically, horizontally and every other way in between. In full swing, centrifugal forces flattened occupants against the capsule's back wall.

There was one central bench seat in each capsule which both riders sat astride, one in front of the other, pressed into each other's bodies - the person behind wrapping arms around the waist of the person in front to hold them securely in place ... Well they didn't _have_ to do that - but it definitely helped improved the ride for whoever was stuck in front.

Emma swallowed. OK, so the seating set-up wasn't exactly ideal, given how exposed she was feeling right at the minute, but she had also meant what she said about stepping up Regina's ride experience.

Of course any moment now the mayor was going to notice that two people tended to become fused into one on this particular ride.

"Miss Swan!"

_And there it was._ Emma winced at the tone and looked quickly around her. _So maybe this really wasn't the best ride choice, all things considered._ But she didn't want to show how rattled she was by ditching it now they had come this far in the queue.

Emma tilted her head towards Regina as they neared the top of the steps.

"Madame Mayor?"

"You can't possibly expect us to ... _squish_ in like that?" she hissed, eyes darting to a bench seat in the middle of a capsule.

Emma shrugged but felt slightly annoyed by the extent of the brunette's outrage. "It's only for three minutes," she snorted. "You'll live."

Not sure _I_ will, she amended to herself, now seriously cursing her choice.

Her eyes darted to the left and latched onto another structure. _Well if worse comes to worst, there was always the Pirate Ship - no intimate seating arrangements there and..._

"In here, watch your step, ladies," came a gruff ride operator's voice as a door flopped open.

Both women hesitated.

"Haven't got all day," he intoned boredly.

Emma was the first to move, bending inside and then sliding one leg over the long centre seat, scooting backward so she was up against the curved back wall of the capsule's rear. Her legs were open, waiting for the second rider to join her in front of her.

The second rider, however, did not enter. Confused, Emma leaned forward and peered out.

Regina was arguing with the ride operator.

"I am the mayor - I should get my _own_ ride compartment!'' she was demanding.

Emma sighed and leaned back. _Of course._ She scowled. _Of course, Regina would not want to be anywhere near THIS close to her._ Especially after certain ... revelations ... that might be taken a particular way if Regina had half a mind to. Neither of them had yet explicitly said out loud whether she had done so.

She heard the ride operator finally relent and agree, opening the door to the capsule in front of hers and let the mayor in. Emma watched, annoyed, as she got in.

"OK so that means you're with her," the operator said next and she saw a fat masculine finger point to her capsule.

A large man, with a pudgy belly, barely contained by his beer-themed black T-shirt, and a sickeningly sleazy smile, peered in at her and chuckled.

"Well now, this is my lucky day." He wheezed with laughter which turned into a chesty smoker's cough. "Ah hell," he said, then spat a globule of phlegm to one side. Emma shuddered.

She then caught a whiff and wondered if he considered deodorant optional or merely had already sweated through his morning's allocation. Emma briefly considered the ride's centrifugal forces, once Beer Man sat in front of her. _Yup. Not Good._ She had all the hope of enjoying this ride as much as a fly under a swatter.

The man was still smirking about his good luck as he lumbered towards her. And Emma was scowling in annoyance at Regina's desertion when the door to the capsule in front of hers suddenly flung open again.

Regina strode out, pushed roughly past the man-monument to body odor, and stalked back to Emma's capsule.

"I had a change of mind," she declared to the operator. "That man appears to need more space than me; he can have that booth."

She slammed the door to their capsule shut and sank back on the seat - not touching Emma, but close enough that she could feel her heat.

"Make up yer damned mind," the operator muttered, but he already moved on, pointing the hefty brute to Regina's vacated capsule. Beer Man looked vastly disappointed.

There was silence.

"You're welcome," Regina finally declared to the air in front of her in her bitchiest voice.

"You don't get to be mad, Regina," Emma leaned forward and growled softly in her ear. "You abandoned _me_, remember. Am I really so repugnant? Or were you afraid I'd get handsy?" She spat out the last bit and then turned her head away, wishing the ride were over so they could get some healthier distance between them.

There was a jerk and the giant wheel slowly began to turn. The ride started slowly, like a ferris wheel, so everyone could adjust.

"Don't be absurd, Miss Swan," Regina snapped back. "We both know if you got handsy, I'd snap them off."

Emma didn't need to see her face to know she had a cold smile plastered over her face.

She bit back a retort and looked out the window. Gravity was making Regina slide further back now, and Emma knew before long she would have to wrap her arms around the mayor's waist or the other woman would have a very uncomfortable ride in a tumble dryer.

"You didn't answer my question. _Why_ did you get in the other capsule? Am I so repugnant to you?"

The wheel was almost fully in position to start rapidly spinning and Regina, with reluctance, now edged her bottom back slightly, finally bringing her body in contact with the sheriff's. Her body language screamed reluctance.

"Yes, dear. You are," Regina snarked.

Emma scowled. She knew the mayor had a shitty sense of humour at the best of times - dark and often cutting - but right at this moment she didn't appreciate it could also be plain hurtful.

"Suit yourself. You can hang on for yourself then."

"Miss Swan..."

"Save it. You are hilarious by the way. Enjoy the ride."

The spinning began, slowly, but already the gravitational forces pushed Regina hard back into Emma. She could feel the mayor's weight against her, smell the faint hint of perfume under that pristine mayoral suit. Any other time she might have appreciated the irony of someone who so vociferously pronounced her loathing for Emma on a regular basis being forced to be this close to her.

But Emma was no longer in the mood. Any fun she had thought they might share was erased by the mayor's unbending, hell, downright mean, attitude.

And then the ride hit full speed. The first time the capsule began to tilt to one side, Emma watched with detachment as Regina was poured, in slow-motion, up against the window. She supposed she should feel amusement as she heard a dissatisfied grunt from the front.

She didn't.

They were spinning almost horizontally by the time the mayor, who had been casually tossed about for a full minute, finally caved and snarled: "FINE! I AM SORRY! NOW HOLD ME, MISS SWAN!''

Emma's eyebrows shot up, and she instantly reached around Regina's waist and pulled her in tightly against her, cocooning her. They mayor's freestyling version of the ride immediately stopped and the brunette exhaled in relief.

They didn't speak again for the rest of the experience. The moment they came to a stop though, Regina immediately unclasped Emma's hands from around her and slid forward to give them space.

She turned. "You sulk like my son," she accused.

"Do you really dislike my company so much it took half a ride to ask for my help?" Emma retorted.

"It's not THAT," Regina grumbled.

"Then what? Do I _smell_? Or have some other disgusting traits that repulse you that much?"

"The list for those is too long to contemplate, dear," Regina smirked. At Emma's lack of response she sighed again. "Look, if you must know, I simply do not like being this close to anyone. Henry is the only exception."

Emma stared at her. "But you are ALWAYS this close to me. Stepping inside my personal space is like a bizarre hobby for you."

At Regina's indignant head shake, Emma continued, "Oh it is, cut the crap. So just tell me - why is _this_ any different?"

"It just is," Regina snarled.

Emma stared at her and waited.

Regina's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Well, besides - we were ..."

"What?'' Emma asked softly and leaned in. "We were what?"

Regina clicked her tongue in annoyance and arched away from her. "_Touching_."

The door to their capsule was cracked open by the operator and Regina had scampered out like a hare sprung from a trap before Emma had a chance to respond.

"Enjoy yer ride, luv?" the operator asked the fleeing brunette. He was forced back as a blur of navy suit pushed past and ran down the exit steps.

Emma slowly followed, now more confused than ever.

_What the hell had just happened?_


	5. Chapter 5

**THE FUN BET**

**By Red Charcoal**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"OK, Regina,'' Emma said jogging up to the brunette who had a most dissatisfied look on her face. "I am not even gonna bother asking if that one was fun. So let's just expunge it from our memories.''

"_Agreed_," Regina ground out.

"So for my last attraction, I have something I know you'll like."

"I really don't think so, Miss Swan. In fact I think it's time we put an end to this nonsense and I got back to my son. Hand me your phone."

"We still have 15 minutes left of my hour," Emma scowled, scrabbling about in her pocket and passing the device over. "And I wouldn't have picked you as a woman who would go back on her word."

Regina sighed. "_Really_, Miss Swan? You are going to play _that_ card?"

She plucked the phone from the blonde and had a quick look at the location app. Her eyes lifted and she swivelled 90 degrees and pointed.

"Over there," she stated firmly and began to walk away, not waiting for Emma.

"Well, that's good," Emma said taking off in pursuit, "because that's where the last thing is."

"There will be no last 'thing', Miss Swan. You have worn out my patience with the previous ride which was both tedious and painful."

"Trust me, you will _love_ this. In fact I probably should have started with it." She gave a quick smile which was noted coolly by the brunette but not returned.

"_Unlikely_."

The phone was passed back to Emma as they came around a bend and saw the boys sitting on a grassy spot watching a teenage band providing discordant sounds which could possibly pass as music. They were laughing, eating obscenely sugary and fatty products that made Regina's lip curl, and having an otherwise good time.

Emma's hand snagged out to Regina's elbow to stop her surging forward.

"Let them be," she said quietly. "A bit of junk food once in a while won't kill Henry. And he'd be humiliated if you just stormed up to him now and told him off - or worse."

"I wasn't going to STORM UP to him," Regina said in irritation. Even so a guilty look crossed her face. "I-I was going to _reason_ with him."

"Yeah, same difference. Look, they're fine. They're socialising. They're eating shit. It's normal. Leave them for 15 minutes to the craptastic food and worse music - if you can call it that - and you can catch up with him then."

"If you think I am going to listen to parenting advice from you, Miss Swan, then you have another think coming," Regina said snippily. But even as she spoke she had stopped mid-stride, uncertain. And then turned back.

"But it is nice to see him having fun with children his own age," she admitted quietly. "Perhaps 15 more minutes. What is this diversion you insist I will find enjoyable?"

"Over there," Emma pointed with a grin. "And, yes, I came prepared for it."

Regina's eyes widened as she saw where Emma was racing to, and she followed by rote, a look of faintly appalled astonishment on her face.

"You must be joking," she hissed when she finally reached the blonde who was now on the ground, unlacing her boots. "I mean - you can't. You're the _sheriff_. Have some decorum!"

Emma shrugged. "Ruby's doing it. Why not me?"

"Yes, well, Ruby has a _certain_ reputation. You on the other hand..."

She faded out and Emma raised her eyebrows incredulously. She stood and shimmied out of her jeans, revealing she was wearing swimming shorts.

"You were actually about to mention my sterling reputation? I gotta say, Regina, after all the crap you have flung at me this past year, that surprises me."

With a sudden move, she then ripped her shirt over her head, and unveiled a pale blue bikini top. She dropped the shirt with the rest of her clothes on the ground and then began to climb up the stairs to the dunking booth, high-fiving the previous dunkee, Ruby, on the way past. Clearly this had all been pre-arranged.

Regina simply stared. Emma glanced down at her taut stomach and long, lean legs and wondered what could possibly be so fascinating as to render the mayor bereft of her usual insults. She gave up wondering and put her game face on.

As she shimmied her backside sideways across the small bench above the water, she pointed to a bowl of balls.

"Come on Regina, I know you've been wanting to throw something at me all day. Here's your chance."

The mayor seemed to shake herself out of her stupor and a decidedly evil gleam entered her eye.

"Finally something I agree with you on." She leaned over and picked up a trio of softballs and then walked back to a marked line.

A smile spread over the mayor's face and Emma found herself grinning back, absurdly pleased to see it. "Let her rip!" she shouted encouragingly.

The first ball was low and hard and slightly off target and bounced off the structure with a loud smack.

Emma laughed loudly and shook her head, blonde curls shimmering behind her. Regina paused to stare and licked her lips. She may have stared too long because Emma laughed.

"Come on, slowpoke," she taunted her. "Your bureaucratic background is showing!"

This ball flew with startling speed - but not at the button that would release Emma into the water. Regina instead threw it right at Emma's head - or in line with where it would have been had the perspex container she was in not protected her. It sheared off hard and rolled away. Ruby gave chase.

Emma's mouth fell open. "Pent-up much? I thought we'd got that out on the bumper cars!''

"Just reminding you that you talk to much, Miss Swan," Regina smirked. "And yes, I have wanted to do that for a very long time."

"Oh nice," Emma rolled her eyes. "But try and aim straight this time. You're giving the mayor's office a reputation for being bent."

The moment she said it, Emma realised her mistake. She had, of course been playfully referring to political corruption. Not that she thought Regina was - but it was just the sort of shit you say to rile a politician. But the word slipped past her lips at the exact second another definition for "bent" sprang to mind.

A definition Regina may or may not have had on her mind when her eyes suddenly narrowed dangerously.

This time the ball looped high, up, over, and down into the roofless perspex tank, bouncing with a hard smack off the platform right beside Emma, then continued with a splosh into the water below her.

Emma gaped at Regina who glared back at her.

"Just reminding you who are dealing with. _Dear_."

Emma swallowed. "Understood," she muttered. She gave herself a shake, determined not to take the mayor for granted ever again in any activity, sporting or otherwise. Her aim had been uncanny.

Regina stalked back towards the tank to retrieve more balls and leaned against its walls, talking in a low voice so only Emma could hear. "Suggest again that I am bent or anything else so crass and I will indeed bend you in a way no chiropractor could ever unkink you from."

Emma stared. "I- but I didn't mean bent like that," she hissed. "I just ... it was a joke. Look - never mind. Just throw the damned ball."

Regina turned abruptly, stalked back to the throwing spot, lined up and, with a feral snarl, vowed: "This time I will end you."

It sent a chill down Emma's spine. For a split second, she truly believed her.

Regina's aim was perfect this time, the ball slicing through the air with the supernatural power of a fast pitcher in top form, and Emma watched it with complete astonishment. Her question about where she had learned such a skill died on her lips as the ball slammed directly into the red button and Emma went down into the water instantly.

She emerged sputtering and thrashing and gave Regina a drowned-kitty adorable glower.

Regina's lips had curved into a wide smirk, her teeth flashing. She walked back over to the tank and stood directly in front of the sheriff, hands on hips, still holding two leftover balls in them.

"You were right, dear," she said, eyes lingering over Emma's drenched look. "That _was_ fun."

Emma grinned from ear to ear, and leaned back, slicking her hair with her hands. The act forced her chest to push out and she caught Regina staring with a glazed expression.

Emma offered an even wider grin, now fairly sure she should continue with her victory plans.

"Well I win the bet then," she declared with glee. "Congratulations Regina Mills,'' she said. "This means you are taking me on a date."

The balls Regina had been holding dropped from her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

**THE FUN BET**

**By Red Charcoal**

**CHAPTER 6**

.

"What?"

"A date. With me." Emma smirked. She had climbed out of the dunk tank and was towelling down, watching out of the corner of her eye Ruby who had taken her spot on the attraction's dunk bench. A small crowd of (mainly) men with wide eyes had gathered to observe the waitress in what had to be the world's tiniest bikini.

She heard a strangled noise and glanced back. Regina's face was undergoing myriad changes before finally settling on disbelief.

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"But we hate each other!"

"Really? You're going with that now?" Emma's eyebrows lifted.

"Miss Swan..."

"If we're going on a date, I expect you to call me Emma."

"Miss. Swan." Regina's eyes were narrowed, her voice threatening now.

"You said that already."

"And you promised me if you won you would inflict nothing painful or humiliating on me. This is both."

"Drama queen," Emma snorted. "This is neither and you know it."

"I won't do it."

"It's one date. What can it hurt?"

"What about Henry?" Regina insisted. "It could definitely hurt him. I won't have his feelings toyed with or hopes raised for some irresponsible game of yours."

"Um, actually," Emma rubbed the back of her neck ruefully, "This was his idea."

"What?!"

"The fun bet. It was his idea."

"My son wants us to date?" Regina gaped at her and Emma would have found it incredibly hilarious if she didn't look about to have an aneurysm.

"No. Shit, Regina, chill already. He said he wanted you to have some fun. He's worried about you working so hard all the time. And he said you wouldn't relax unless there was some payoff to it. So he thought I should challenge you to a bet."

Regina's voice lowered to chilly depths. "I see. Does he know about what your intended prize was if you won?"

"I told him I wanted to spend some time with you. How he interpreted that, who knows." She shrugged. _Come to think of it the kid had been deeply uncurious about that. It's like he wasn't even surprised. _Emma paused to ponder that, frowning.

"Didn't he find that a bit odd? Why on earth would you want to spend time with me? We fight incessantly! He must think you're mad."

Emma gave a lopsided grin and shrugged again. "He actually thought it was funnier that I was going to let myself be dunked by you. He even suggested I wear Scooby-Doo swimming shorts just to make your head explode." Emma glanced down at herself. "I obviously didn't."

Regina shook her head. "You know, Miss Swan this is THE most underhanded way of getting a date with someone that I have ever heard of. Do you do this with all the unfortunate souls you wish to be romantic with?"

"Only the sexy mayors." Emma gave a wide smile, flashing a perfect line of white teeth.

Regina glared in irritation but Emma could see the faintest twitch of lips as at least some part of the brunette appreciated the compliment.

"Come on," Emma grinned. "One date. I am sure a town leader like yourself knows just the place to take me."

A gleam entered the mayor's eye. "I could buy you one of those vile corn dogs you seem addicted to. In fact we could dispense with this entire date in the next five minutes." She looked suddenly hopeful.

Emma scowled. "Tempting, but no. Stop wheedling out of it. And I never pictured you as such a cheap date. Or do you think so little of me?" She folded her arms and eyed her challengingly.

Regina looked about to parry with an even ruder insult but then seemed to think the better of it. She glanced at her watch as if to suggest Emma had already wasted enough of her time and then pressed her lips together.

"Fine. To minimise the humiliation and pain of me being seen in public dating you, you can instead come over to my home tonight at seven. Henry will be out anyway as one of his friends asked him to a sleepover tonight. I suppose I could cook something adequate to your lowbrow tastes and dispense with my obligations that way."

"So romantic."

"Take it or leave it, Miss Swan." The glare was back.

Emma gave a grin. "Fine, I'll take it," she said quickly, not willing to push her luck. Frankly she was astonished the other woman hadn't put up more of a fight.

"Seven it is then." Regina then swivelled abruptly to go and collect Henry and Emma watched the obnoxiously attractive way her hips swayed as she left. She gave a dopey grin.

_Hot damn. Dinner with the mayor._

* * *

At 7pm sharp, Emma knocked on the mayor's door. She had gone to a great deal of effort to look as stunning as she could. Her deep blue dress set off the hints of blue in her eyes, and her hair cascaded loosely down her shoulders. She had even tolerated heels, because she knew it did things to her calves that tended to earn her more than a few envious stares.

"Miss Swan, you're on time for onc..." Regina faded out as she stared at the blonde and blinked twice. "You look... surprising."

"What were you expecting? Jeans and a wife beater?"

"With you, anything is possible. Come in. The meal is almost ready."

Emma pursed her lips at the dig but lost focus when Regina opened the door wider and she realised exactly what the brunette was wearing. A very low-cut black dress with generous offerings of cleavage, a delicate silver necklace at her throat and matching earrings, kick-ass heels and some evocative perfume that made her ache to lean in for a closer whiff.

Regina smiled, presumably at the effect her outfit was having and Emma flushed faintly at her body's obvious impressed reaction. The brunette waited for the sheriff to enter.

"Wine or cider?" she asked politely. "If I had known to expect you as a guest this week I would have stocked some cheap ale you no doubt inhale by the keg. But for now - it's wine or cider."

"Yeah," Emma said, swallowing as the brunette closed the door quietly. "Um, I mean, yeah - whichever."

"So eloquent. Do you sweep all the ladies off their feet with that line? Or is it ladies _and_ gentlemen? Because until today I was not aware of how _flexible_ your preferences were."

Regina smiled archly and turned to head into the kitchen, expecting Emma to drop into step with her.

She did. "Well it's just the ladies, really," Emma said honestly, fidgeting. "Henry's dad was kind of the crappy drunken exception to my otherwise firm rule."

Regina removed the cork from a bottle of wine and poured. "I see."

"How about you? How many, you know, ladies, have you gone out with?"

"Counting this evening?" Regina asked, and passed over a glass, which Emma gratefully accepted. "One. And that one is under sufferance I might point out."

Emma stared at her, trying to hide her disappointment. "Oh, right. So you don't ... you know?"

"No, Miss Swan," Regina intoned, "_I don't_. So let's just get this evening over with and you can go back to your ..." she waved her hand dismissively. "Varied social life."

The lasagne and salad was the best Emma had ever tasted. Bar none. But she barely noticed. The company was all she could focus on and it was producing an odd reaction.

Her heart seemed to be beating too fast. She was clumsily bumping things, dropping things, stuttering with her small talk. She was like some guache 15 year old boy fumbling on his first date. But the most intriguing aspect of all her horrors was that Regina had not once sought to call attention to her many and varied lapses. If anything she was going to great pains to ignore them. She simply handed over a napkin when Emma sloshed her wine ... again ... and kept talking in the same aloof tone.

Emma blinked trying to work out what on earth the mayor was saying now.

_Wait, Sheriff department budgets?_ Surely not. Emma frowned. _That's not how dates go._

Regina stopped talking and pinned her with a stare. "So you are finally listening then? I thought you were just going to gaze at me like a puppy all evening and wait for me to fill in all the uncomfortable silences. As dates go, Miss Swan, this one leaves a lot to be desired."

"You were actually desiring a nice date with me?" Emma asked, recovering her equilibrium slightly.

Regina shook her head. "Hardly. But this is even worse than I could ever have imagined."

"You imagined a date with me?" Emma gave a small grin, her fingers wringing the serviette in her lap.

The mayor sighed. "Now you're twisting my words. Why don't we end this torture in the most painless way there is: with honesty. I feel nothing romantic for you, dear. I feel nothing for you at all, come to think of it, beyond distaste. I am surprised you didn't know that already. Or does delusion run in your family?"

"I wouldn't know," Emma scowled. "But I do know when someone is lying to me, and you certainly are."

Then, just for something to do after that awkward pronouncement, she reached for the bread basket - unfortunately at the exact same time the mayor did. Their hands brushed and both women froze. Two hands held the basket aloft, neither willing to let go. Regina stared at Emma for the longest time, an unfathomable look on her face.

"I am not lying, Miss Swan," she finally said, interrupting the silence punctuated only by the loud ticking of the wall clock.

Then, as if suddenly realising where her hand was, she snatched it off the basket. A roll went flying but both women barely noticed.

Emma frowned.

"Prove it."

"What?"

"A new bet," the blonde said firmly and put the bread basket down. "And if I lose, I leave now, and you don't have to endure a moment more of this date you claim you never wanted any part of."

"I don't claim it, I know it," Regina said darkly.

"And if I win, I stay." Emma said firmly. "For dessert."

"You have my attention. What is this bet?" Regina swirled her wine glass and raised it to her lips.

"I would kiss you."

Regina coughed suddenly into her glass and dropped it quickly to the table, aghast. She looked around for a napkin and dabbed her mouth. Her eyes flashed darkly. "What? Out of the question."

"Hear me out. Look, you said you didn't like that we were touching. On the ride. I actually believe the reason it made you so uncomfortable was part of you wanted to touch me very much, and you didn't like that."

"Preposterous."

"One kiss. And then we'll both know. And believe me, I don't want to impose myself on someone who has zero interest in me. But that's not the vibe I have been getting from you for months now."

"Then your absurd vibe meter is _broken!_ You mean nothing to me. You appall me most of the time - and that is when I am not actively despising you."

"One kiss will settle it. If I mean nothing to you, we will both feel that. And I will leave. But if I am right, I stay."

Regina looked at her askance, eyes darting erratically. "Absolutely not. You are clearly insane if you think I would allow that! I think you should leave now. Miss Swan," she said, flustered. Regina rose abruptly, moving away from the table in an uncharacteristically undignified clatter of cutlery. She pointed to the door.

Emma stood, too, and stepped towards her, cocking her head curiously. "You are certainly panicking pretty hard for someone who feels absolutely nothing for me but hate."

She took another step closer and watched as Regina swallowed, her eyes flicking down to Emma's mouth. Whether it was to consider the proposal or to work out how much room she had to flee, Emma couldn't be sure. Regina's arm, still pointing at the door, dropped heavily.

Emma took one final step and was virtually nose to nose with the brunette. "Just one little kiss," she whispered and leaned forward. "Where's the harm? No one will know. And if I am wrong, I will be out of your hair tonight and for good." She didn't make contact, waiting to see what Regina would do.

"For good?" Regina asked softly, no longer taking her eyes off Emma's lips. As if expecting the serpent's strike any second and bracing herself.

"Yes. I will never ask you out again."

"You didn't ask me out _this_ time, Miss Swan; you forced me into this date through trickery."

There was no menace in the tone, though, and Emma chuckled. "Then you will be relieved to settle this once and for all and get me out of your social life."

She moved her lips a millimeter closer.

"I don't date women," Regina muttered but, even so, leaned slightly forwards, as if pulled by some invisible force.

"I know," Emma agreed amiably. "And you _really_ hate me."

The blonde felt warm breath flood across her lips, and realised the other woman had sighed heavily and soundlessly.

"Yes, I despise you." The words were as soft as a leaf dancing in the wind. Barely audible. "Always have," Regina added even more quietly. And then Emma felt it. Lips moving softly across hers. Tentatively ... but they were there.

Joyously she responded, sliding a hand around the brunette's waist to pull her close.

Regina moaned into her mouth, a sound of frustration - at herself most likely - mixed with something much more, something primal and aroused and Emma pushed excitedly against the lips. Her tongue sought entrance to Regina's mouth, asking the question with a swipe against her lips. The slightest hesitation was all it took and then it was like the flood gates opened.

Regina grabbed a fistful of Emma's hair and slammed their mouths together, pushed their bodies together even harder and ground her hips against her. They were kissing passionately, tongues duelling and sliding and grazing each other's. Emma felt dizzy at the overwhelming feelings barrelling at her from every direction. She had never felt a more erotic sensation in her life as the mayor making love with her mouth, her lips, and now, her hands.

She felt questing fingers snake up her side, slide across and suddenly they were rubbing against her breasts through her dress's sheer silken material. She gasped when she realised the mayor was demanding more. Much more than a mere kiss. The thought filled her with wonder.

And then, after an eternity of waterfalling sensations, they both pulled away.

Regina's face was flushed darkly and she stared at the sheriff as if barely able to compute who she was looking at. Or what she had just done. She glanced down at Emma's breast, a nipple proudly erect and defined against the blue thanks to Regina's pinching fingers. She snatched the traitorous hand away as if it had been bitten.

She blushed a deep, hot red and Emma stared in disbelief. A sight she never imagined - Regina Mills horrifyingly, excruciatingly embarrassed.

"Well," the brunette said, breathing out shakily. "I suppose you win. You may gloat now." It was whispered and ragged, accompanied by worried eyes that watched Emma's painfully.

"Yes," Emma agreed, but there was no smugness. She gave a faint hint of a smile. "But I think we both win. So no gloating necessary."

The relief was palpable and Emma let her fingers rub reassuring circles against Regina's hip, showing how very mutual it had all been. No reason for blushes.

"So what was our prize?" Regina finally asked with a small, and familiar, smirk.

"I believe you promised me dessert," Emma said.

As the brunette turned absently to head to her oven the blonde captured her arm and then took her chin between her thumb and forefinger and turned her head back. "I wasn't talking about food."

Regina paused and eyed her in mock outrage. "Did I mention, dear, that I think your bets and their embedded trickery are entirely underhanded?"

Emma laughed at that. "Well sure they are. But they got us here. Now then," she said and brought her lips next to the mayor's, "about dessert..."

"I still despise you, dear," Regina muttered with fake gravity, before nibbling Emma's bottom lip.

The blonde grinned and pulled away for a moment. "I know. I believe it's one of your favorite things about me."

"Finally, something else we agree on."

The kissing resumed in earnest until Regina finally led Emma upstairs, whispering words in her ear in a tone so sultry that it almost made the blonde's knees give out.

"Just so you know, dear, I always pay my debts." She paused to steal a kiss, pinning Emma to a wall.

_"In full_."


	7. Epilogue

**THE FUN BET**  
**By Red Charcoal**

**Author's note: **I know I said the last chapter was the end but everyone asking me for an epilogue made me dash out this on the train on the way in to work this morning. And yes, this really is The End. Enjoy.

**EPILOGUE**

Emma Swan woke up in a world of soft. Soft skin under her cheek, her arm and one leg. It felt deliciously indulgent. She cracked an eye to find the Mayor of Storybrooke tangled around her and, even more tellingly, watching her with an affectionate smile tinged with a slightly dazed look.

It quickly vanished, replaced by a startled expression, when she realised she was being watched.

Emma smirked. "Morning," she said, shifting her head lower onto a rather impressive chest that her tongue had spent more than a few hours mapping out in detail last night.

"Miss Swan," Regina replied with an amused rumble that Emma heard directly under her ear. The blonde felt a hand questing south, sliding to her hip, then across, fingers fidgeting hopefully.

"My god woman, you are insatiable," Emma chuckled. She shifted position slightly though to allow the fingers easy passage to their destination. For all her protestations, she had been delighted by the discovery of just how passionate Regina Mills was beneath all those uptight suits and bitchy comebacks.

Things were just getting interesting again - Emma's breath hitching at a certain mayor's exceptionally fast-fingered talents - when the bedroom door flung open. And for one brief second there was utter chaos.

Henry stood, framed by the door, a bag over one shoulder, peering in.

Emma dove under the covers instantly as if hearing some imaginary submarine commander's bark of "DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!" ringing in her ears.

She may or may not have uttered a crude, shocked, obscenity on the way down.

Regina, meanwhile, had wrenched her hands out of forbidden territories and simultaneously wrenched the sheets up high under her chin, covering any bare flesh and her disappearing bedmate.

Their expanse of bed now looked like one frazzled mayor was sharing it with a lumpy Loch Ness Monster.

Henry lifted a hand cheerfully. "Hey Mom, hey Emma. Nick's dad got called into work early so he dropped me off on his way. He said he hoped you wouldn't mind."

Regina stared dumbly at her son, her mouth opening and closing.

The lump in the bed began to shake with laughter and Regina scowled, her leg lashing out, kicking it in gentle warning.

However the lump's shaking grew more obvious and Regina sighed, eyeing her son's curious expression worriedly.

Finally the lump gave up hiding and worked its way up the bed. A laughing, red face popped above the edge of the covers.

"Hey kid," the blonde finally said. "I was looking for quarters."

Regina rolled her eyes in perfect symmetry with her son.

Henry shook his head. "Mom doesn't keep her quarters down there, Emma." He gave his best 'duh' tone. He paused and gave a lopsided grin. "I hope you guys had a good time while I was gone."

There was silence as the two women desperately tried to work out what exactly he meant by that, and exactly how much he had put together.

He took pity on them and shrugged. "Geez, I'm ten not blind. Why do you think I put you both up to the fun bet? And asked to sleep over at Nick's last night? I know you both like each other and needed to admit it. _That_ _way_."

He was impressed at their perfectly identical shocked expressions. Really, he did not want to think too hard about what they had been up to, (come on, eww, parents), but he knew enough that he didn't want to stick around right now in case he found out. "OK, moms, I'm going downstairs to watch cartoons really, _really_ loudly. I already had breakfast. So you know, don't rush to get up. 'Kay?"

He turned and left, carefully closing the door, trying not to laugh at the looks of astonishment passing between his moms.

_Grown-ups. Honestly - who did they think they were kidding?_ Emma had been way more obvious than his mother, but he had watched them taunting and playing with each other for months now. He knew every expression, twitch and reaction of his adoptive mother - actually he knew her better than anyone in Storybrooke. So all the standing too close and staring at Emma for ages? He knew what that meant. He'd had to put up with enough of it from watching his teacher and Mr Nolan when they thought no one knew what they were up to.

Besides even his book had suggested there was more than one way to defeat an evil queen. So if true love was the path, he'd get on board with that. One thing he was sure about - this was definitely true love, no matter how clueless they might be.

Anyway, it was really cool finally seeing his mom looking this happy. She had seemed sad for such a long time. This morning though, he had seen a glimpse of something he'd never seen before. _Joy._

He flopped on the sofa and turned the TV on, making sure to lean on the volume. Loud enough they'd hear it upstairs. He grinned gleefully.

_Ruby so owed him a double chocolate milkshake for winning this bet._

**THE END**


End file.
